Bonus #1



You may have a better chance or feel more comfortable meeting people in open environments. 

Open Environments have these two qualities:

1. The people there are gathering for a common reason or share a common interest.

2. The people there are expecting to meet new people.


Examples of Open Environments

  • social clubs
  • groups
  • join a meetup 
  • church
  • spiritual center
  • create a meetup
  • photography class
  • improv
  • language learning
  • walking/hiking/outdoor adventure groups
  • hostels while traveling
  • tasting events
  • adult sports leagues [roller derby, softball]
  • dance events
  • dance classes
  • ecstatic dance
  • volunteering [habitat for humanity, animal]
  • create a local facebook group for meeting people with certain common quality or interest
  • makerspaces
  • find events through groupon/living social/ travelzoo
  • go to potlucks
  • host a potluck with an open invite for friends of friends
  • host game nights with an open invite
  • conventions
  • volunteering for an event [for a convention, festival, concert, etc]
  • retreat
  • cruise
  • weddings
  • birthdays, parties

Our "List of Other Places" are not open environments because they only meet one of the two requisites. 

These are places where common interest might not be obvious - you would have to overhear or see something that points to common interest. These are also places where people are not necessarily expecting to meet other people.

BUT! If you feel a vibe from someone that you’re curious about - don’t let these places deter you from using the “Evolved Approach" from Bonus #2.


List of Other Places

  • cafe
  • coffee house
  • art galleries
  • museums
  • public parks
  • farmer's markets
  • vendor events
  • early evening bar
  • gym
  • rec cen
  • yoga class
  • fitness classes
  • grocery store
  • sidewalk
  • any store or shopping mall

Please Note:
If you don’t have an open INNER environment, the external environment won’t matter because you’ll likely be more closed off to meeting - people can pick up on that closed vibe.



Check in with yourself before you go to any of the places.

  • Is this where I really want to be?
  • Am I going because I want to be there regardless of meeting a potential partner

Come up with an empowering affirmation that you can say to yourself before, during and after going to the place. 

  • Think Stuart Smalley style: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people like me!" 
  • or make up your own: "I'm loveable just as I am." 

Try a mindfulness practice.

  • Breathe in for 4 seconds and breathe out for 6 seconds. A longer exhale relaxes the nervous system.
  • Imagine breathing into your heart.
  • Practice seeing people through the eyes of your heart

Try a new state of mind.

  • Imagine how you would be if you were new to town, wanting to meet new people.
  • Think of it as "connecting" or "hanging out" rather than "trying to meet the love of your life."