Refer your Clients to a Matchmaker: Top 10 Reasons

I am now a dating coach and matchmaker, but it wasn't always that way; I actually started out as a psychotherapist and before that, I was a personal trainer. As a therapist and trainer, I worked with many single clients who I came to know quite well after some time and was always thinking things like, "Man, I know someone who'd be perfect for my client!" or "I wish it was appropriate for me to help my client with their online dating profile!" Every time with my single clients, some portion of the session would be devoted to talking about the latest dating situation: Either they went on a horrible date, went on an amazing date, decided to write off dating altogether, or just expressed their deep confusion about modern dating.

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As a body-based therapist, my role was to listen and help guide with the emotional and somatic content of their experience. As a personal trainer, I took on actually a pretty similar role [with the addition of body language and postural alignment].

I could help with some of the emotional and relational dynamics, but it didn't feel "right" and in many cases was even ethically prohibited to help with some of the more practical dating stuff.

My partner Chris and I realized there was a definite gap in the services provided for single people. Especially since many of the services for dating support tend towards pickup artistry and old-fashioned gender rules. So, we decided to specialize in dating coaching and matchmaking - but with our own heart-centered, mindful, and fun twist.

One day, an amazing therapist in Boulder referred one of her clients to us. Within our first session we realized that he was the exact type of client who resonates with the way we work. He was already doing self-growth work with his therapist and was open to trying new things, which was the perfect base for us to then address the practical side of his dating life. And then it freed up his therapist to continue their work together.

He told us that he had hired a matchmaking service once - but it cost over $6,000, he was only given blind dates, all of which were ridiculously mismatched, and he didn't get help with practical things like messages, photos, profile information, communication and intimacy skills, body language and postural alignment, image consulting, the list goes on.

Divorced after 40+ years of marriage, he felt like he'd been dropped out of a spaceship onto another planet when it came to modern dating. He simply had no idea what to do.

Within 3 months, we were able to help him find a soulmate relationship. When he called to tell us they were officially a "couple," it was just the most exciting news ever. Plus, his therapist was over-the-moon happy for him as well.

Since then, we've had other therapists, a yoga teacher, massage therapist, life coach, and other professionals refer their beloved clients to us for our Soulmate Matchmaker program. Some of them called us because they didn't want to be responsible for setting their client up on a bad date. Some of them called us because they honestly didn't know how to navigate modern dating themselves.

No matter the reason, the point is that if you are a holistic health professional, acupuncturist, chiropractor, naturopath, life coach, or divorce lawyer - you likely have some clients that are single. But with the major ethical dilemmas of playing Cupid for your clients, we'd love you to consider setting up a time to chat with Chris and myself about our service.

Whether it's us or another service, we've compiled a list of the top 10 reasons to refer your single clients to a specialist in dating and matchmaking. Here 'goes:

  1. Your clients will trust you more and want more of you.

    Sometimes it is necessary to introduce additional sources of support where appropriate. When you refer to other professionals, this does not make you seem weaker or inept in the eyes of your client. Rather, they will likely feel even more trust in you that you are a part of a collaborative network of other professionals. [When my business coach referred me to a health coach, my trust in him skyrocketed; and I maintained coaching with both of them simultaneously].

  2. Your clients will feel so supported and heard when you refer them to a specialist.

    This is especially true for your clients if they have been struggling with being single and any aspect of dating for a while. Even though they may speak freely about their trauma or depression, they may feel shame speaking with you about their love life.

  3. They may not know.

    They may not be up with dating coaching and matchmaking services. They may know they exist, but they may not know that a conscious and heart-centered dating coaching and matchmaking service exists. Or they may have heard of these things but have just never considered it as an option for themself.

  4. Our service does things that are likely outside the scope of your practice.

    For instance, we take new photos for their online dating profile [great confidence-building exercise] and help them update their profile information to be more accurately representative of who they are now. We also look at body language and style "issues" that might not feel appropriate for you to address.

  5. You don't want to be responsible for a shitty date.

    You've thought of some people who might be good matches for clients, but you're worried that a bad date might affect how they feel about you. Or you're worried about feeling bad because you prompted the connection [Read the mistake Freud made as matchmaker].

  6. You're prevented by specific ethics and boundary violations outlined by your profession or licensing board

    It is important that professionals avoid dual relationship with clients. Read here about nonsexual dual relationships and here about how matchmaking your clients could be erotic countertransference.

  7. You don't want the power differential to make them feel pressured.

    Maybe you've thought of a potential match, but you're tentative because you're in a power position as their health care provider.

  8. You're either uncomfortable addressing certain intimacy issues.

    Perhaps certain intimacy issues are outside your personal comfort level, interest or  the ethical boundaries for your profession.

  9. Your client is bypassing other issues.

    If your client takes up too much of your time together talking about the pains of being single and dating, this can be a strong indicator that they are bypassing other issues that can be addressed with you.

  10. You feel like romantic partnership would be a perfect next step for your client.

    This is kind of the opposite of the previous one. Maybe you feel like they are ready for a relationship, but they don't spend enough time looking at healthy, conscious, and pro-active ways to start finding a partner.

Evolve Dating Gurus isn't just any dating coaching or matchmaking service. We specifically work with people who are on a self-growth path who want to create a conscious relationship with another like-minded soul. So if you work in a holistic health profession - the majority of your clients are exactly our kind of people. And when your clients have you and us on their team, it truly is a perfect match [pun intended].

If a client has come to mind, please considering referring them to our website. Or feel free to call us at 720-378-8874 to set up a time to chat in more detail about how we can be a part of your holistic referral network.

May the love be with you...and your clients!