Today marks one of the most important days of my life...

Today marks one of the most important days of my life...the second anniversary of when I met him. Just before that day, I had read a post on facebook by him that was asking whether people thought that making out at a snuggle party was sexual or not.

My immediate reaction was: “EW! What a CREEP!”

He was one of those people with whom I was “friends” on facebook, but really didn’t know why other than some mutual friends.

Later in the week on the Solstice 2013, I’m on Gold Hill with a few real life friends at an Ecstatic Dance event. After a few hours of dancing, it was pretty much time to go, so I took one last flailing twirl of my body [if you’ve seen me dance, you probably know the move]...and BAM! Danced right into the chest of a big tree-bear-man person.

“Hey...You’re that snuggle guy…” I say while pointing a finger at his belly button. He was standing a little uphill from me.

He raises his chin and looks down at me past his cheeks. “Yeah...yeah, I am.” From memory, I believe he may have puffed up his chest a little more at this point.

Looking up to him, I say, “Yeah, we’re just friends from facebook.” I look past him and see my friends are ready to go. “K, well, bye.” And I was off.

I catch up to my friends…”EW! What a CREEP!”

To which one of my friends say, “I dunno. He seems like a really genuine guy to me.”

“Really?” I look back, and he was gone.

summer solstice 2013
summer solstice 2013

[My friends and I at Gold Hill, Solstice 2013]

My attention was quickly captured by other things, and he didn’t cross my mind again until a month later when I was in the Whole Foods parking lot looking for my car. Not like it’s a surprise to see someone I know at Whole Foods, but there he was walking right towards me.

We caught eyes. “Hey, what you up to?”

“Oh, just getting some last minute things. I’m camping at Unify...it’s a music festival.” I said.

He smiles. “No shit. I’m doin the same thing.”

I turn red and hot how I do when I’m feeling really confident in myself and totally comfortable with what’s going on.

“HaHa...that’s funny.” I say.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

We part ways. I get in my car. I breathe.

My friend - the same one from before - and I get to Unify. She pitches her tent while I’m parking and later gives me loose directions of where she ended up, so I can set up nearby.

Now, if you’ve ever been camping with me, you know that I will walk back and forth scoping out the best spot. I’ll even lie on the ground to feel if the blood is going towards my head at all. So today’s no different. But - the area’s quite crowded with other tents. I still manage to find a decent spot.

I set it all up, get inside to place all the bedding, and lie down feeling as proud as one can for such an accomplishment. I start to unzip my tent, and as soon as I do, just about 10 inches in front of me, we are face-to-face. I had set up my tent, like, right outside his “door.”

“Hi.” I say, while cracking up.

“Found a spot, huh?” He says.

I mean, we're literally face-to-face looking at each other from our tents.

I tell him why I have it that way, and he was relatively cool with it. We make a little more conversation until my friend comes. I leave with my friend to go explore the festival grounds and the night carries me away.

When I return to my tent late that night, I lie down and have this overwhelming impulse to see if he’s in his. I start to unzip my tent and then think to myself, “Hello, projection! Who’s the creep now? Go to bed.” And I do. Eventually. But not before thinking about him for a while longer.

Throughout the festival we had several awesome moments of connection - but on the last day, I finally made it into his tent. To snuggle! I told him what I thought about his post about making out at snuggle parties, and he said that he didn't write it because he was making out with people at his events...he wrote it because someone else was making out, and people complained. So, he wanted to take a lil' poll on facebook to see what others thought about it.

Lying there in the tent, we exchanged numbers. It was clear that we both wanted to be friends.

bon bon chris kendra unify
bon bon chris kendra unify

[Us in the tent on the last day]

Shortly after the festival, he called and invited me to his home. When I walked in, we hugged. And it was like it was the first hug I had ever had in my entire life. My breathing slowed and deepened. The antsy butterfly I have had in my chest since the day I was born finally landed on a soft spot on my heart. With my ear against his body, I heard his heart beat. I’m pretty sure it said, “You’re home. You’re home. You’re home. You’re home.” [When you read that, read it in the rhythm of a heart beat. Read it again.]

And that’s where I’ll stop telling the story of the beginning of us. Because from that point, all it’s been is true magic. We call ourselves a “split atom” because we’re that annoying couple that finishes each other’s sentences and have the same thoughts at the same time and with just a look we know. We dance together everyday. Our life is a beautiful dance. I never thought I could laugh with anyone as hard as I do with my sister - but he proved me wrong. Laughing hard is on the daily. Falling on the floor is a monthly - sometimes weekly - occurrence.

1978641_10151947456312097_1779978986_n.jpg

[Us after dancing at Rhythm Sanctuary - our weekly ritual]

But I have to say...one of the best days was when we woke up together. In the home he invited me to live in. And while meditating together - the realization that I love myself came through loud and clear. I had an embodied experience of unconditional appreciation for myself.

I opened my eyes and looked over at him with similar unconditional appreciation and said aloud: “You are such a reflection to me. A reflection of my self-worth. Damn, this feels good.” And I didn’t even apologize for interrupting his meditation because guess what? Unconditional self-love, self-worth, self-appreciation.

There are no apologies there in that state of being. And it’s really a state of becoming because it evolves over time.

Soon after we decided we were "official," we started saying “I choose you” every single day to each other - sometimes several times a day. And as I say it now, I realize that by looking at him as my reflection and saying that, I am actually saying “I choose me.”

[The first time we said "I choose you," Sayulita, Mexico]

If you’re one of those horoscopy or astrologically-inclined people, you may know what was going on that day 2 years ago - it was not only summer solstice, but it was also a supermoon. According to ancient texts, this moment marks when the stars aligned and Capricorn’s vital energies met the sun’s index of the Aries moon with an axis of about 111 grand water signs of inspirational heart chakras.

 

Actually I have no idea what a supermoon on the solstice means except this:

I was obviously aligned with my inner being. Chris was too. And the universe picked up on it.

So having said that - this is for you, Chris. Happy Father’s Day and Happy Day We Aligned With Our Inner Beings and The Universe Knew Anniversary!

Summer solstice was the longest day of the year - but for me, every day before it was way too long before meeting you.

I fuckin love you. I choose you. The end...ish.

Love,

k.

p.s. Thanks for being my mirror, ya creep!

Note to others reading: This story has several points that I think could be helpful for anyone who is dating. In my next post, I will share those specific points.

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