No matter what your thoughts or feelings on the issue of men paying on dates, guess what? No one is right or wrong! If you're a woman who wants a guy who’s gonna take charge, open doors and pay for meals and be the old school dude that you dream about - great! If you're the type of woman who prefers a guy who offers to go dutch or wants equal contribution back and forth - awesome! Own what you want with consciousness and complete conviction, and you will attract your match with much more ease.
Likewise, if you're a man who feels good taking care of your woman - sweet! If you want a woman who offers to pay - perfect! Own what you want with consciousness and complete conviction, and you will attract your match with much more ease.
BUT! If you find yourself getting annoyed, pissed off, or super judgemental towards what is showing up for you in your dating life, then you probably have some contradictory vibrations you're putting out there.
For heterosexual men who wants to create a conscious partnership built on trust, honesty, and a desire for growth and sustainability, our encouragement to you is:
- Read through the questions and thoughts from part 2.
- Sit in stillness and tune into the wisdom of your heart.
- Ask your heart: "What feels good to me when it comes to paying? What do I feel in total alignment with?" and listen for the answer.
- If your heart says that paying for this woman feels good, and you want to do that [regardless of traditional rules, her reaction, or where you see the relationship going], then by all means offer to pay! If you pay and it offends the woman, you’ve probably just filtered out someone who isn’t a match. If she likes the offer, you’ve probably just attracted someone who IS a match.
- Likewise - if you feel into your heart, and you realize it doesn’t feel good to pay, and you don’t want to [again regardless of traditional rules, her reaction, or where you see the relationship going] then don’t offer to pay. Again - by following YOUR heart and YOUR truth, you filter out women who aren’t a match and attract women who are a match.
- Whether you want to pay or don't - this part of a date is a great opportunity to have open, conscious conversation. It can be as simple as saying before the date: “I just want you to know that I really would like to treat you to dinner because it feels good to me.” or “I just want you to know that it would feel good to me to pay separate. How’s that sound to you?” or you could be super transparent [if this is your truth] and say: “You know, I’m more inclined to pay/not pay; but it’s so confusing to me what is ‘right’ these days. I’m curious what you think about it?”Some might say this kind of conversation ruins the romance - but if you feel that way, then don’t have this kind of conversation. Simple as that. We personally think bringing consciousness and depth to a connection is romantic, sexy, and real. But that’s us.
- Own that answer as your own personal desire moving forward.
- See the magic unfold on your next date!
We also want to propose one last general guideline: When you’re the one who invited the other person on a date that has costs [such as dinner], it might be nice to state it upfront if your desire is to split. This just feels like a courtesy regardless of your sex.
We hope you’ll wave your opinion flag and let us know what you feel about the Man Should Pay topic. Your voice is important to us!
May the LOVE be with you! Chris + Kendra