Many people won’t even put themselves out there, period, because of sex and the fears, lack of confidence and tabooness that surrounds it. Some brave souls DO put themselves out there and have lots of great qualities, but their efforts go nowhere because they’re not in vibrational alignment with their sexuality They’re not vibrationally ready for the things that come with the deeper physical intimacy of partnership.
In other words - you could be the hottest, smartest, richest, funnest, most conscious communicating fish in the sea; but if you’re vibration is wonky about sex, you might actually be resisting the partner you seek.
Many singletons don’t feel good about their sex life, and it’s not just that they aren’t getting enough; it’s when they do engage, it’s less than satisfying.
You’re also not likely to come across an OKcupid self-summary or write one yourself expressing your level of confidence as a lover or ability to guide a partner in your pleasure. Most people aren’t gonna bring up the topic on a first date and will continue to neglect direct conversation about sex even when they are well into an early stage official relationship.
It might scare the person off! It might ruin the moment! What if it’s so uncomfortable that we both explode into a million pieces part way through the conversation?! What if I’m too broken or inexperienced or awkward about sex? Best to just let it lie, which [sorry for the pun] IS a lie because your vibration about sex will still be there whether you acknowledge it or not.
If you’re curious about how your vibration around sex might be affecting your ease in finding a partner, then see if any of these sound like you...
- You feel self-conscious about how your body looks while having sex.
You feel you need to keep some desires or fantasies secret to avoid feeling shame, discomfort, being judged or getting rejected.
You worry that a future partner will be more experienced than you.
You’ve struggled with previous partners in guiding them with what you like in bed.
You feel bad when you compare yourself to others and think they’re sexier than you.
Any one of these are a clear sign of sexual shadow that may be creating resistance to meeting your person.
If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of shadow - shadow is basically any part of ourselves that we don’t want to see. When we don’t want to see a part, we often project it onto others or unconsciously act on them. These parts of ourselves can be judged as being “positive” or “negative.”
So in the example above - someone who thinks of others as being sexier are putting their own sexiness in shadow. They either don’t let themselves be sexy- OR - they deny seeing that they are actually being sexy.
By the way, it makes sense if you have any of shadow around sex. Just look at the sad state of affairs that is the Harvey Weinstein situation and the #metoo movement. It’s all symptomatic of the shame, insecurity, lack of education, and violence that’s in the human collective experience of sex. It’s almost like you can’t have a feeling about sex that’s completely independent of others because the mixed energy about sex is just kind of in the very air we breathe.
It’s this dissonance that may be affecting your mojo and actually blocking you from allowing a partner in.
What we want you to know is that there truly is no normal, better, or right way when it comes to sex. There’s no need to compare yourself to all the articles that say if you’re not having multiple orgasms or sex for days then you’re somehow less than, unworthy, broken, inept, or doing it wrong. All there needs to be is your truth when it comes to sex.
One of the most powerful ways to come into vibrational alignment with your sex is by embracing your sexual shadow. There’s some very specific steps to this process - the first of which is identifying your shadow.
To help, we’ve created the Sexual Shadow Quiz. After you take the quiz, you’ll receive our free Sexual Shadow Guide that has the rest of the steps. The guide also includes wisdom from our favorite books, years of study and personal practice into an easy-to-read guide to embrace your sexual shadow, increase your sexual intelligence, create a new vision for your sex life, and become a vibrational match to the soulmate relationship you’ve been yearning for!
It all starts where you are and the awareness that internal discovery reveals. And so - we created a series of questions for you to open the door and shine some light on your sexual shadow and vibrational set point when it comes to sex.
Should you choose to go through the questions, we encourage you to hold yourself with non-judgement and gentle curiosity, letting go of ego or fixed ideas about where you think you’re at when it comes to sex. Inquire from the wise, pure, deep knowing part of yourself. Taking the quiz will help you take a step towards coming into alignment with your sex regardless of doing anything else. Just bringing a new level of consciousness can clear the path to allow partnership - and soul satisfying sex - into your life..
After you take the quiz, you’ll receive our free Sexual Shadow Guide. We’ve put wisdom from our favorite books, years of study and personal practice into an easy-to-read guide to cultivate your sexual intelligence, heal the sexual shadow and become a vibrational match to your soulmate.