Almost everybody wants to love and be loved. The question on many people's minds is: how do we get there? Attracting and growing the love we want can sometimes seem like Eisenstein's theory of relativity E=MC2, a mysterious equation that we have all heard about but don't usually understand. The handed down idea is that love is something you search for to complete yourself. It's a destination and something that is to be fought for, fallen into, and obtained in order to feel. Well I think it's high time I challenged this flawed belief system and redefine what I want.
Then it hit me in my own entirely unscientific but easily excitable way.
Einstein's E=MC2 equation points to the formula for love. Say whaaaa???
We're not talking about the science part of the equation, much of which is highlighted in the movie Interstellar that explores space time travel, wormholes and black holes, which is cool shit no doubt.
More specifically we are interested in the transcendent power of love and how we can actively grow love in and around us. The speech by Anne Hathaway’s character Dr. Amelia Brand says as much in the movie’s most polarizing speech:
"Love isn’t something we invented. It’s observable, powerful, it has to mean something... Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space."
Now believe me, I don't know much about physics. But here is a simple breakdown in layman's terms. In physics, mass–energy equivalence is the concept that the mass of an object or system is a measure of its energy content. For instance, if you have an object and you add energy, it increases its mass even though no matter has been added.
So let's play with this a little and see how it unfolds.
Meaning the amount of love you feel, and grow in the world is directly proportional to your focus on it and the sharing of your truth with others. If you are the object (mass) of the focus of your loving energy and expression of being love then the love you are feeling will be measurably increased in and around you. Oh and don't worry, you won't grow physically bigger, just energetically bigger and more attractive to other loving beings.
Love at the speed of your truth.
What more could be written about love? It's definitely a loaded word in our world today. All kinds of experiences, feelings get attached to the word love. Everyone wants it, but no one seems to be living it in a way that is sustainable- goes the narrative. But, I call bullshit.
In its purest sense, love is an energy and a feeling all in one. This feeling can be called on with intention and a desire to know it intimately. If I can release all the conditioning around the idea of love as a thing that I acquire, prove, hold on to, or fall in then I can lay a new neural pathway that is based on freedom to feel the love I am without fear of loss.
Love with no resistance looks like free hugs, looking into someone's eyes and being fully present, having the clarity to know the advice of my heart and my yes or no. It's being in alignment with the joy and ease that comes naturally when I care and tend my garden and prepare the soil of my soul for eternal springtime. If I allow the idea of love to be reframed in my being, then I can have the realization that everything I experience including who I date or love is a direct reflection of this irresistible energy I exude. In this place, it is not a means to an end but the goal all along. [an eternally, unfolding goal. A goal that is reached right now and right now and right now.]
Make focusing on the love that is all around you a priority all the time. Notice the ducks in the creek frolicking, see the children playing in the park, look for the smiles on faces, and become more aware of how these things feel in your body. Focus on how you want to feel in the morning when you wake up, and create the energy of the day with intention. Create a practice that communicates that loving each moment is what you choose. Put the attention of your mind on what you can directly experience always and know that love is always one of the options.
Knowing what my yes is and having the ability to express it. That's big stuff. I read a great article recently by Mark Manson called "Fuck Yes or No", check it out . This inspired me to make a commitment to live my life in a "Fuck Yes" state and no more "maybes." To go ahead and be a No if it's a maybe and to help others realize this when needed. I can fine-tune this skill of knowing by slowing down and getting my heart involved. Ask for clarity from that part of you that always knows. Use the feeling we have in our bodies as the guide. If I feel excited to see a friend, inspired to work on a project, go on a date with someone new then I know that feeling. Sharing this truth is my practice and becomes easier the more I do it.
If you ask people how they express themselves you get answers like the clothes I wear, the way I dance , what I say, painting, or music. I wonder how much of what we do is based on the idea of validation and how much is based on my internal desire to please myself for the sheer joy of it like a kid with a cupcake. Just watch as his face lights up just holding the cupcake and the ecstasy of that first bite, mmmm magical! How can we get to this place?
Much has been written about the power of vulnerability. Our society says it's dangerous, scary, or weak. Our culture insists that we be strong because the strong win, are the most successful and admired. I took it to mean don't admit to any fear, weaknesses or feelings that are anything other than being in control. Understanding what kept me from being vulnerable and how it directly related to the love I am feeling in my life has been transformative for me. When I was able to express myself- be it verbally in business or creatively in dance, or anything else it created a new freedom in me that I had not felt before.
I give myself permission to love and express who I am now and through that believe you will do the same.
A formula for experiencing more love and attracting the love I want through a state of inspired expression of my truth.